Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
