I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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