Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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