Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
