No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
