we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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