2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
