whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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