Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
