how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
