so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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