it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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