the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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