my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.