Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?