Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
