just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
