i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
