This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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