I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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