If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
