____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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