Midget sex pt 2 tonight
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
