dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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