I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
