Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
