Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
