So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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