Fuck appropriateness.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
