i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
