but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
