your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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