turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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