I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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