My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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