ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
