yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
