woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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