he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
