Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I've blown a few things in my day
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
