One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
