Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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