im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
