Whod you bang
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
