sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
