My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
