i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
