Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Vodka?
Forever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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