She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
