shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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