yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do vagina's smell?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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