It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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