Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
