Already got asked if we're dating
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
