So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
