But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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