is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
