mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
