My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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