I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
