Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
