The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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