Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
