We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
