i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
