At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Mom said you looked used
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
