Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
