just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
