he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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