Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
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My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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