Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
