I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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