What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
